After having a conflict, or a misunderstanding with some neighbors, I was given the idea to do something for them instead—something good—a loving gift, I guess. It came to me the inspiration to write them a letter. I hadn’t properly introduced myself to the neighbors since being here in Germany. I had given two letters and we were writing some more, with the Lord’s help. And, as I was writing down during my prayer time, after doing this, I heard the Lord begin to speak.
The Lord said, “I have been waiting for you to take the step and do it with, Me dear bride of mine. It takes courage but I AM your courage. Truly these souls need a very tender touch of loving motherly care.”
And here I am thinking “Um…Motherly care, me, Lord?”
And He said,
“Yes, you. You might not notice it, but souls are being fed by your little nudges of love shown to them, be it in word or deed. I will move in their lives and wish to, and these little letters will be like an open door for me to enter and begin something anew something new in their days. Healing comes from fountains of living waters and this you have within you. So this is why I am leading you to places, arranging scenes and events, and bringing you to a perfect place so the water will be poured out onto those I need to touch most. Many places I will take you, so do not fear any more unknown grounds. Of course, with this comes challenges to allow me to adjust you to the unfamiliar and work it out in you, but by far we have done it well together.
“I just want to hug you and be appreciated that you do not give up on Me though many times you think of this."
And I’m like “Am I thinking of this, LORD?!” Then I said, “Well, Lord, you know better.
Lord, to be honest, it feels I am not doing much here. I haven’t gone outside for more than two months now, just when chores or tasks need to be done. For most of the time, I am indoors… Partially, or mainly maybe, it is due to this worry and fear of having eyes on me while I walk in a habit and a black veil on these streets. Truly feels like a fish out of water. So please forgive me….
After a moment of silence, Jesus said,
“The cause for me to bring you here was to evaporate from you that negativity you have steeped in yourself. I wished to hold you aside for a time and work it out in you. To show you, yes, so you would recognize it, and thus to allow me to dig it out. For that, certain graces had to be lessened on these areas so you would perceive them and know the issue you have deep down on those areas—your nature. But just like that statue, My chisel is there to expose but at the same time to smooth the place, so it becomes as I want it to be.
“The reason the emotions, the feelings, and the mind have been attacked so much while in your stay here is due to My work. This also helps in the aid of many souls as you undergo the procedure. But you have done well to hang in there with my grace aiding you.”
It’s interesting Lord… and here I thought I had patience… [Laugh] (Ironically speaking because my patience has been sooo not patient at all. [Laugh] I found myself greatly tried in patience with myself and in situations and emotions in every way around me. So I said, and here I thought I had patience, Lord).
Jesus said, “Patience is hewed. It is there, this virtue, but it undergoes pressure and fire to perfect it. Self-knowledge also is linked in this.”
Oh, so that’s how it is?
“Aside from the fact that back in Medjugorje you did wish to be alone with Me for a while.” He added funny.
There seems to be a layer of reasons behind an action of yours, Lord. Being brought here is not only to expose myself, to hone parts of me, to be alone with you—but also to aid our sister, the neighbors, even by the suffering in here to aid other souls—who knows where? Even in those ways, you move so unknowingly to me even if we were to walk down the streets or be in stores… There are so many reasons.
And He said, “A perfect plan, huh?!”
“My ways are always higher and better for the good of all, not just one. Like Father said, “our plans are put in action which is good and prosperous for a soul” and therefore there is no need to fear the changes of the days, its occurrences, and the times of all things which we ordain. Things are just so highly thought by us that there can be no failure in this plan of ours! Whatever we put forth in action to do, it will be done! Who can withhold that? Our purposes are always good even if there is great suffering involved at times. The suffering actually is a great gift when carried well. It is like a high costly pearl or gem in our kingdom, for many who lay down their lives for a friend is proved worthy of kingship in My kingdom. Love and suffering are linked. You can say that suffering is the perfector of love, the fire which makes it so pleasing and precious. I wish many, MANY would lay down their life for a friend. That would so bombard heaven and earth with a magnitude that will shake both with a blast of roars of the glory of God. It’s just… so unexplainable and…" Then He looked at me with such eyes as though saying, “Words can’t say it!”
And softly I was thinking about those words, and I said, Lord, — may I be one?
“You will be one! For the greater glory of My Father!” he affirms confidently. “I will lay down My life in you again, through you.”
And then as I was contemplating the sweetness of the moment and his eyes back then. I said to him, Lord, it’s so easy to lose focus of you… sadly. It makes me think if we could only just remain focused on you and…all this you bless us with—like, to remember more often the blessings—what a blessing this life is actually.
And gently He said,
“Hmm, My thoughts are the same. That is why many times we desire you all remain focused on us. Apart from us, there are so many distractions that weary and darken the eyes. They gloss over the sweetness and the joy of the life we so endowed you with since conception until now. Many seem to rejoice during life, but they are hurting and bleeding. If eyes are on us the balms of heaven brush off the evil inside and the winds of the Spirit woo the soul to healing, they become who they are when they stay with us, riveted in us more and more. That is why I ask of you 'think heavenly—upwards, not downwards.' Downward is but a show passing by, but upwards is a bright everlasting light shining on you. That I am! If only more would look up.”
Then, that morning when I was eating my breakfast, I had the curtain lowered down so the light of the rising of the sun would flood the room. I enjoyed its warmth on my face as I ate with Jesus near me. Then, as I focused on the window, the sun, and its light, I noticed that the more focused on the light, the surroundings became dim and seemingly darkened. Compared to the light, my room became dull, filled with stuff, but, dull. It made me realize how a Rhema back then said, “God casts a showed on all created things when the soul lives and breathes for him, so the things of the world are nothing to that person”. So I correlated the Rhema with how you look at the sun, how you look at the light, the things in the world—you realize they are so dim the more we gaze at God and enjoy his warmth, we will realize the world we are in is dull too. Temporary, it’s not going to fill you up. And then I pondered about suffering…
And Jesus said, “Don’t fear suffering, I am always there with you. My grace will not leave you unaided.”
I heard this while pondering on times ahead and on how he said ‘laying down life’ for a friend. That kind of made me think, being killed. And I said to the Lord, Thank you, Lord, for this time and your patience with me.
“You are welcome! And I hear you, you know?”
And I said, Whaat? Because I have been wishing to speak again with him for a while now.
When I went to discern this message the Lord gave, “Long Life” & “Joy”, which is always encouraging to know about these things.
The Lord bless you all. May He be with you and remain with you always.