Dialogue w/Jesus on Good Friday
This message was of April 15, Good Friday. Once again a new fault was perceived. We touch once again on the topic of His Passion and the souls who shared in it. So, here we go:
April 15, 2022
Today my Jesus is wholly covered along with all our holy images, icons, and crosses. Being all covered with a grey mantle, it calls to mind the actual mount at Calvary. I have not Him near me, now, in my adoration, I don’t have my cross necklaces, I have not received Him today. . . My Jesus is covered as in the tomb. I must say, although I desire to feel that absence and longing deeply as some of His saints have experienced, I must say I feel but a grain of it compared to the shoreline filled with it.
Today I realized how wrong my heart is toward the Blessed Sacrament actually. Somewhere deep down in me is this rejoicing that He is covered, that I do not wear the crosses, and that I get to experience this new interesting situation. It sounds selfish. And what grieved me the most was the realization of how I am glad I do not have to do the Lord’s Supper and that I will not receive Him today and tomorrow Saturday. I am a priest, yet, I am glad I do not have to receive Him? Is this me, or is this not of me?
But contrary to beating myself down for it, I also noticed a gentle acknowledgment of this fault I figure out in me now. Should I be surprised that there is one more fault in me? No, for I am faultier than I know. I thanked the Lord for showing this to me, and sighed in contrition, hoping with confidence for Him to change this heart.
Yet, as I prayed the Sorrowful Mystery and read the book Dolorous Passion of Christ, at the Rosary moment, I pondered, “Here He is, suffering torments beyond the human scale of bearing pain. He suffers for me, yet why do I feel empty of compassion, or even contrition, or even sorrow – anything – as I look at Him undergoing this Passion? At times I am blessed to be filled inside with a longing drawing. Other times, I am not. But the feeling part is a gift from Him in itself too. All I could do is to offer up the no-feeling sorrow of my heart, uniting it to His sufferings.
Then I hear, “The best wine for last.” The Lord began to speak.
“Your littleness deems it unworthy to experience My Passion, and it is true that the pain experienced is way beyond the capability of a human soul to bear it. Even with My grace, they feel the heaviest toils on them when My Passion descends upon their soul and body.” He mentions the saints and other souls who experience His Passion.
“My love for you is great and I read the chambers of your heart. Those melodious songs of longing and pondering on My most bitter yet most fervent proof of love.”
And I said to Him,
Sometimes I wonder, could someone like me experience your Passion? I wonder why do I even thinking like this...? What is there in store, Lord?
If I recall the drawing we did in Medjugorje, how prophetic it seems to my eyes. Done in Medjugorje, the land of Mother Mary, the garment of the Bride was unified with the garments of the Mother. Yet, the Bride was wholly crucified to You, Lord. Then, here I come to Germany and indeed my garment [ref: garment of salvation/santification] has truly now been entrusted to Mother’s hands. I fully and totally consecrated myself to her. Truly, part of the drawing has now come true – the garments of the Bride and the Mother are now unified.
Now, the Bride nailed together with the Son… This, I ponder. On this, I wonder. When I asked if these constant thoughts and inclinations are from You, you confirmed them affirmatively.
I do not know what the future holds, but for the time being, all I can do is receive these pondering and dwell on them. Soak in the melodies of Your most bitter, yet so strong a love for us. Until I see what these inclinations come about – I contemplate them in a silent and quiet spirit of recollection.
Then the Lord says, “I cannot wait until that day arrives, My dear!! Oh the day when I will be fully one with you in My passion and fervent love for you and all mankind! Until that day I hold you fast to Myself and I gather your musings like tender fragrant flowers which sweeten My soul. There it is, there is a little soul who ponders My fervent love put in action! It delights My heart to hear you.
“The feeling of absence is also a little gift.” He continues. “Every little suffering, voluntarily or not, I receive as a wedding gift. I store them up and built them up to fruition. Thank you for loving Me.” He smiles gently.
“It is good that you ponder My passion, it prepares your soul and penetrates to the depths of you. My ways might be mysterious but in due time I reveal them to My beloveds. They, in turn, see the magnificent, detailed plan which unfolded, and thus praise and honor rise up from their soul and heart as they gaze at Me in awe and wonder at this such a love expressed in so many increments of details in their lives and days. The fashion of a man is so intrigued, it is a costly gem as unto Me to gaze at. The bone of My bone. The flesh of My flesh now. Heart of My heart and filled with My very own Spirit indwelling them. How magnificent is this creation of Mine, I never tire to behold it. I never weary to sustain it! I ever long to hold her and be totally consumed by her as she is totally engulfed and possessed by Me! Could there be anything to this likeness? No! It is beyond comprehension!!
“You will be utterly overwhelmed by Me In the near future days. I will equip you fully and further with My own Spirit indwelling in you and will send you forth to proclaim My good news to new ears and new eyes shall behold Me in newness of light. I take the little in you and fill it with My strength, and thus, a birth takes place in a soul who is being ministered to. You don’t have to think to accomplish this by your own strength and means, My Spirit is with you, and He empowers you accordingly to each day and challenge ahead. You have experienced this before and tasted My faithfulness in action – thus it shall be on all occasions. In both ups and downs, I am there to sustain you.
“Focus on Me daily and nightly,” He smirks, at the ’nightly’ word as I am mostly asleep. [Chuckle]. “I am here beside you. Enjoy My presence and do your best with what the day brings your way. Involve Me in all your doings and together we shall bloom beautifully.”
“Thank you for keeping Me company in this night of exile.” I hear while keeping watch in the spirit, near His tomb.
And that was the end of my short dialogue with the Lord.