It’s been a while, Lord. But I wanted to drop by today and thank you for all those times you have spoken with me in these past journals. I went back today and read one, and as I read, it blew me, thinking, “I don’t remember writing like this!” I realized in awe how those words flow and have Your fragrance – totally could not come from me. I’m amazed, in awe, and laugh in wonder.
Oh Lord … What can I say now? I’m melting. You melt my heart and I just want to evaporate and be consumed into that heart of Yours, dear Lord. Even thinking now, “When will it be?” I can’t say much… about how it feels like now… to think of You.
I have been thinking and reloading memories in my mind about what has happened along with my life and how the blessings dropped so beautifully before me along my days. It truly helps me not to look so much at my daily laundry list of sins lol. But spending my time thinking of the blessings of the day. Of the years. Of this life until now. And I wonder, “What have I done to deserve such openness of Yourself, of Momma, of heaven, and what more?” I’ve done nothing to deserve them. I have nothing of my own at all – but these blessings, Your presence, Your touch, they came and keep coming very openly.
To be honest, sometimes I would be like, “Oh Lord take me to be with You!” But then think, “Oh no, I’m not done with my mission on Earth yet. We gotta run until the end!” You know it, how it feels.
“And I wait fervently for the day when you shall come home to be with Me, My dear. Oh, that day! Oh, the shouts and the glee!"
So much is hidden behind a veil, Jesus….
“I know,” He says solemnly and understandingly. “But soon the Veil will be removed. Soon the Veil will be set aside, and I will be embracing you in the most pure tight hug you have ever had in your life. I will hold you for hours if you so will it. I will kiss your tender head that bore much heaviness mentally for Me, for your brothers and sisters. I will hold those hands that have labored for Me in every little, tiny detail in daily duties. I will bless those feet that have walked after Me and run the race to My embrace. I will wipe away the tears of those eyes that so lovingly adored Me in the valley of the shadow of death. I will be with you until the end. Beyond time and frames. I am yours. I hold you as My own possession. My priceless treasure hidden in the field, how I adore gazing at you in your sleep and sing over you in the mornings, giving you a touch of My presence as you enter into the new day that I prepared for you. Battles and bustles are a part of daily life, but that does not hinder Me in any way to gaze and adore your substance, made in My Image. After My likeness. After My heart’s desires. Love, I adore you unto distraction. Evermore keep yourself gazing at Me. Facing Me. Dancing with Me, even learning how to dance.” He laughs, amused.
I would like to thank you Lord for Your Momma. The books we are editing are so eye-opening. They help me accept her more openly and I feel some brinks are filling down.
[We were working on some books from Mother Mary Elisha’s teachings and Mother Clare’s. They really helped me to be more open to Mother. And understanding a bit more about her.]
“I delight to give her over to you, you to her. My mother is your mother. She will take you to leap through heaven and bones. Through mountains and lows. She knows what is up ahead of you and is very fond of you.”
[And I was questioning, “Umm, wha? She’s fond of me??]
“Yes, she adores all her children, especially the most hidden ones. She is so soft and amazed when she sees and finds a little violet hidden in the grass. Like a tender child, she reacts with such adoring eyes and protects the little violet with her own hands. Admires the design the flower was made, the color it had been given. The ‘veins’ in the leaf, of those petals. She is a child at heart. And she is a lioness in battle. None can face her, for God is with this one. And God is with the little violet too.
“So, therefore, now with the consecration almost done, she takes hold of the helm of your life. The Spirit is the wind blowing in the sails of the ship. The captain, who is Me, overlooks the sea and the course, and Mary is at the wheel to turn the ship and guide it as I point in the right direction. A good teamwork, huh?” He seemed interested. [Chuckle]
“And what does the boat do? The boat allows us to be on it, to inhabit it. To journey on it and to have a place to stay in these vast ocean waters. Of course, we can walk on the water, but it is much more fun also to travel on a boat. You, my dear, are the boat. And your consent to allow Us to have the reins of your life is such a blast to Us.
“Know exactly that the stormy sea waters will arise, and the boat will be subject to its force at times. But My mother is a strong valiant woman who will NEVER abandon the ship.”
And here I visualize Mother Mary, she is in her blue simple veil, in a pale blue-grayish garment and a white cord around her waist. She is drenched wet by the rain and had her hair over her face as the ferrous winds blew. Her expression shows the force of her hands as she held the wheel and turns the ship as strong waves unbalance it. She has such an energy to herself. Valiant giant-bear-momma, mixed with a warrior-woman-in-flames-of-love that will not let go of the wheel that has been entered to her. The whole boat depends on her hands on the wheel. She is serious about it.
“So, both alike in a storm and in calm peaceful waters, the Trinity stays on the boat. The mother remains at the wheel. What kind of good captain would abandon the ship? None that I know (in My world).”
“So take heart, My daughter. My mother is forever your mother. And as a tender mother never abandons their children even when they squirm and rebel, a good mother does not forsake them. For they are her own flesh and blood. And you, My dear, you are My own Flesh and Blood. You are her own flesh and blood. You are family.”
ENDNOTE: The laundry list of sins, LOL, this I read on the 33 Days to Morning Glory about Mother Teresa, in which it says:
“She applied the method of St. Ignatius of Loyola, a method of making a daily examination of conscience (“examen”), whereby one reviews the day, at the end of the day, in the presence of the Lord. Contrary to what people often think about the examen, it’s not simply a laundry list of sins. In fact, Ignatius directs people to spend most of their time reflecting not on sins but on the blessings of the day. It’s really an exercise in recognizing the good things God is doing in our lives and how we are or are not responding to his love. It’s an imitation of Mary’s attitude of heart-pondering prayer.” - DAY 19, Heart-Pondering Prayer
Worth applying this to our life, donchu think? ;]