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PORTUGAL | My Growth in the Last Two Years (2)

Back to the family. Since the time I left them, this was the first time they saw me finally. Mom and Dad were teary and joyful to see their daughter again after the separation, and so with my brothers and little niece. In my stay there the Lord further pruned, purified me, and restored and healed wounds in us. He directed me to inform them that I was a Priest, not only a Sister.... and this was a great wow-thing for me to do, I was so shaky, but the Lord and Mama Mary certainly backed me up and made it. Some of my family understood what it said, some maybe didn't yet. My family grew up in an Eastern Orthodox Church, and there is no such thing as a woman becoming a priest, but by the Lord's grace, it went well and they listened. One of my brothers clearly understands what I said, and he surely understands that the Monstrance holds the precious Body of Christ! He himself seeks the Lord deeper in his own path.

The reason I had come to Portugal was due to the US Visa Interview that I had scheduled in Lisbon, but as the Lord forewarned me while in Germany that a bump would happen with the US Visa interview, so it happened. On the day of the interview, they denied me, so I did not attain the Visa. I went out smiling and at peace, for look, what the Lord kept warning me about in Germany, just came to pass. Thus He had me stay with my family for that month of June until November, again, seeing the Lord move in wondrous ways, even though my 2-year-old niece! It was like "Child Jesus" moving through my niece to teach me lessons, build my soul, or comfort me when my heart was downcast with inner battles... I spend the most time with the little one after tending to my duties and helping around the house and other serving tasks... But I caught myself too absorbed at times with "my agenda", spending many hours in the attic [I made that my private space]. Jesus kept telling me to show brotherly love and preach with my actions by serving them, but I failed most times. Maybe the family felt my absence even though I was in the attic, a few steps away.

The battle with my brain kept on. Many times I misunderstood the Lord's words or rhemas, of what He was hinting at. I would get attacks of anger, finding myself in the midst of a deep bit of confusion and anger at Him, and myself. I was still battling with myself, against myself. Those altered states of mind, of anger, confusion, perplexity (and pride of my own, no doubt), at times, would be so strong that I would feel the force and negativity of harming myself, with suggestions of hitting my head on the ground, or the wall, or give up on "this" or on "that''.... -- totally the enemy messing up with me. But I never harmed myself... I would pour out to the Lord, and all that anger and frustrations came out not in fits of anger, but tears... so I would just cry while with Him. The Lord had His ways of bringing me out of that, comforting and encouraging me not to give in but to look at Him, again, eyes on His mercy.

While in Portugal, Mom and I had an honest open conversation between mother and daughter about the day I left her alone and came to the Mountain. She spoke openly and told me about her struggle and the severe pain she felt when I left her, "Had it not been for the neighbor, I would not be here talking to you," she said warmly, that the shock and pain were so that she almost could've died back then. By the grace of the Lord, she forgave me and is not troubled now. With the counsel of other family members, she learned to let me go and let the Lord do as He wills. That conversation was beautiful! Praise the Lord!!

The Lord moved not only in between our family, but other close family friends and other people I know there as well. I had a fear of telling family about me being a Woman Priest, so this a huge ground the Lord did and worked it out well! Very good!

I got to see well, what are the needs of each soul in my family, spiritually, seeing them with eyes as "souls" and thus prompted by the Lord to lift them up in prayer and also give them a Word from the Lord for them, each according to their need, and there was fruit! Some were truly open to His words as it nailed them on the issue they were going through.

So this time with them was to learn to serve, serve, listen, and obey! Both the Lord and His directions for me through them.

Next, the Lord forewarns me there is an open door of blessing coming, so I was expecting what it would be. Around November 2022, the Lord moves me to Sierra Leone, in Africa...

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